Easter came and went
Easter is always a bittersweet time of the year for me since I've moved to the US. It had always been my favorite vacation: it's spring, there is chocolate that you have to hunt for, and we would see the family. And in my case it was a big family. My grand-ma had 6 children, who each got at least 2 children. All of my cousins and I were born at max 3 years apart. My sister and one of my cousins are the yougest, born 5 years after the older ones.
We were with each other constantly, not only for each holidays but most week-ends too. When we were little we shared everything and took naps together.Then we grew up, and in the teenage years took care of each other during difficult times of divorces, fights with parents, girlfriends and boyfriends.
And family secrets that slowly got revealed.
And through it all we stayed together, keeping in touch and all of us meeting at my grandma's appartment. I remember the giggles, the tears, the whispers.
Et les betises :)
And then I moved across the ocean. And not only that, but I moved in the part of the country so far away from France that it takes 13 hours (and way too much money) in an airplane to get to Paris. I'm not going to go in the details of why I decided to live in the US in this post, maybe another time...
But what is for sure is that I remember big family reunions with a lot of laughing, talking, joking, good food and a lot of it and my dad opening bottles of champagne with a big "pop" while everybody was cheering.
Our first Easter in the US was fairly desastrous :)
I missed my family. I was sad that my son would not be with my family. I felt guilty that I left and the chocolate did not taste good. And I cried. And then we colored eggs and hid them and ate chocolate bunnies and I was happy again. But it comes back every year. And never at Christmas.
Mark's family is very different from mine and quite frankly very stressful. There are a lot of things that are wrong with them ;). Let's just say, that visiting his family is not a relaxed, happy going kind of event. And I decided that we would be spending Easter this year just by ourselves. Us and the kids.
Not surprisingly our kids are very close to each other and with us. Sometimes moving so far away feels very lonely. I think that's the very first time I said it...maybe I should open a bottle of champagne :):)
My son is gone for the week on a fieldtrip with his class and we miss him already. But I'm sure he'll have fun with his friends studying the ocean and marine life. And I hope there will be laughter, whispers and not too much tears.
7 comments:
j'ai pas vraiment tout compris, mais je crois que j'ai saisis le sens....
je te rassure, meme en France, et pas si loin de la famille que toi, tout cela me manque bien aussi!!
Ohh you should open this bottle of Champ', really. Because, even far, you and Mark have managed to share your traditions with your children.
As Cécile says, even when the family is close... Life makes everything different years after years. We also had wonderful moments on easter when I was a kid. With the whole big family around! But these days are gone, some have died, some family problems happened, just as if everything could not be as simple as it used to be. But maybe it was just because I looked at all these with kids eyes...
I'm sad for my grand-ma who spent her Easter alone, we could not be there, she could not join. She was really the Easter guru, making it so perfect for everybody. That must be very hard for her.
But anyway, that's life I guess... Distances won't change much to it, you'd be "here", maybe it would be worse because you would see things have changed really.
Sooooooo, well, let's make the best of it! You have a beautiful garden to let the bells hide their eggs and the most lovely kids to look for them! Yeeeeepeeeeeeee!!!!
(13 hours between you and I! What a pity really! we'd have been perfect neighbours! hehe)
Cécile,
On s'etait bien amuse....et tu me manques!
Candy Froggie,
I know that you and Cécile are right. And I do think that since I'm far away it is actually less worse (oh my, I hope nobody who actually speaks english as a first language is ever going to read that sentence!). Like you say, people die and I don't have a child's outlook anymore. I feel bad that my children will never experience it though...
Now, in my next post I'll talk about all the wonderful things we did during Easter vacation...I've got to go find some champagne too...and wouldn't it be wonderful if you could just come on over ;)
nodding!!!! oh it would be!
(I'll certainly have a glass of champ in the weekend -the birthday of my niece ;-) and I'll drink to Laurienna's lil gang overthere :-)
Je suis nulle en anglais, mais je crois avoir saisi tout de même ce que tu écris. Il y a ton éloignement certes, mais il y a aussi la fin de l'enfance non ? Je suis aussi éloignée de ma famille, pas très loin, mais il y a eu tant de tensions à mon adolescence que quelque chose s'est cassé et c'est cet éloignement qui est le plus réel. A Pâques j'ai aussi cette nostalgie de la magie d'avant. Mais mes enfants grands maintenant me racontent leur Pâques et ils ont vécu cette magie que je ne sentais pas.
Je suis peut être totalement hors sujet (puisque n'ayant rien compris)
Je suis frustrée de ne pouvoir apprécier ton blog à sa juste valeur. Je regarde les photos qui sont très vivantes.
*clinking my glass of champagne too!*
I felt touched with this post Laurienna - it reminded me of how my Mum felt about leaving her family in Europe after coming to live in Australia after WW2.
I know now that she had moments like your Easter ones as well - she told me in later years about them, and my heart broke for her.
As a child growing up it never occurred to me that there was a possibility that she could feel even a little bit sad - because she was always the life of the party (so to speak) - the center of organising & enjoying the festivities for family celebrations.
She used to tell me, that sometimes life can get between the mountain and Mohammad - the mountain can't come to him & he is unable to go to it. So Mohammad must build a new mountain.
I think that's what she did through us (her children)....she rebuilt her family mountain, using her memories of all the wonder-full times spent with her own family as the foundation.
My Brothers, Sister and I have remained close throughout our lives, so while we never had an extended family - our children do.
I imagine it must have been extremely difficult for my Mum to recapture her happiness in the early years while we were growing up.
But in the later years, once we all began having families of our own & spending holidays & celebrations together - it must have made her heart sing!
What an awesome gift she gave to her grandchildren!
Anyhow, I think I just wanted to let you know - that I understand how you could be missing the family connection and that maybe the best way to cure the "missing" might be to go build a mountain! :-) *^*^*^~*^*
Candy Froggie,
Thank you, I'll be thinking about you too and all of your ,ahem, hard work :) ( I loved your little drawing).
Valerie de Haute-Savoie,
Tu n'es pas du tout hors sujet, bien au contraire. Ton anglais ne doit pas etre si nul que ca ;).
C'est tres rassurant d'entendre que malgre l'eloignement que tu as ressentis avec ta famille, tes enfants, eux, ressentent la magie des fetes.
Je cherche une solution pour le probleme francais/anglais sur le blog...
Et en attendant je vais mettre plein de photos ;)
ms penny,
You are back! I missed you :). And thank you, that's exactly it: build a different mountain. Take all the best parts from the past, mix it with the new ones that are just ours and make it into something new and exciting and warm.
It's lucky to be able to do that in a way.
I liked to hear about your mom and your siblings. Since I've never read your old blog, I really don't know much about you at all ;)
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